Celebrity Apprentice: Season Finale!

I didn't have high hopes for last night's season finale when the Donald started off with that boardroom fakeout again. By now we all know that there's really a big audience there. I guess the concept is kind of fun (I enjoyed the canned-sounding laughter), but next time they should probably stop pretending they're in the regular boardroom.

Trace was clearly overmatched last night. His strategy to focus on star power wasn't that smart considering few New Yorkers are country music fans. I loved the fact that Trace chartered two private jets to fly in his friends from Nashville, and they seemed lovely, but they were no match for Simon Cowell, Ozzie Osbourne and Fergie. (British celebs seem so much more fabulous than ours for some reason.) What's more, Trace's food allergy charity, though worthy, wasn't nearly as compelling as the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund. Piers' idea to give away 20 tickets to service people to tug on the bidders' heart strings was brilliant.

The criteria on which the task was judged were pretty lame. Catering and the auction versus band management and decoration? That's so subjective, but it did make for some great moments. Of course, Trip and Lennox's nail polish run was fabulous. And I loved when Piers told the waitstaff to get the party goers drunk and hold back on the food so they would bid recklessly. That was brilliant. I was getting annoyed that Trace was acting so clueless about the wheat grass juice. Go to a juice bar! The country routine started to get a bit tiring.

The auction itself was pretty exciting. The guy from Cantor Fitzgerald was amazing! I can't believe he paid $100,000 for tea with the Duchess of York and another $100,000 for the Ozzie Osbourne prize! I felt bad for Trace when a dinner with him garnered only $6,000, and from Ivanka! She looked fabulous at the event! Trace's wife better go along to chaperon. Of course, the best part of the auction was when Simon Cowell called in to bid on the shopping spree with Ivanka. I'd like to be a fly on the wall in that store. I don't understand why Trace thought Simon's call-in was so distasteful. Lighten up! He definitely seemed bitter during the event.

A note on the Backstreet Boys: Who do they think they are? I couldn't believe there was a possibility they would not go on stage if their demands weren't met. I think Piers had it right when he said they would never turn down a chance to perform in front of a huge TV audience, especially since they're completely lame. The synchronized dancing has to go.

Even though Trace did a good job with the band and bringing in some country stars, it was obvious he wasn't going to win even before the final boardroom showdown started. I'm all for being nice, but, as Piers mentioned, the point of the show is to raise as much money as possible for charity. Besides, Piers isn't all bad. Carol and Lennox always liked him, so he must have some appealing qualities.

In the end, it was obvious that Piers should win based solely on the large amount of money he raised during the auction. The comparison with the ticket sales was ridiculous, especially since Piers gave away 20 tickets. The Donald also seemed like he was grasping at straws when he criticized Piers for trying to get the party goers drunk. Of course, Stephen Baldwin acted so offended by that strategy. Please. He's a total hypocrite. I loved when the Donald said Stephen's career wasn't going so well until the Celebrity Apprentice. Ouch!

The real clincher for Piers was the touching moment with the injured soldiers. That kind of blew the whole "Piers is evil" theory out of the water. I felt kind of bad for Trace. He's a nice guy, but as Piers pointed out, this isn't a "good guy competition." Piers blew him out of the water consistently throughout the season. The Donald clearly made the right decision.

Some great moments: When Stephen and Piers "made up" in the van, when Lennox and Piers said they would be lifelong friends, Omarosa's insane comment about Piers' dental hygiene (and the Donald's dismissive reaction), that tense moment when Piers and Trace were bickering about the supposed slight against the country donors and the audience started hooting and clapping, Piers' boardroom sweats, and, of course, Gene Simmons' special appearance via satellite from Tokyo.

I guess the "Celebrity" spin helped revive the Apprentice franchise to some extent, though the Donald's insistence that the show would be around for a long time seemed a bit desperate. The good news is that the next season (slated for January 2009) is going to feature a new set of celebs.