Celebrity Apprentice: Episode 6

I blame Vera Wang for misleading the women last night. There's nothing worse than a client--or a boss, for that matter--who doesn't know what she wants. She seemed totally jazzed when the ladies mentioned using one of her gowns. I believe she said something like, "That would be GREAT!" Then she tells the other team that the Vera Wang brand is now known for much more than bridal wear. Oh, really? What else is it known for? Mattresses? Who cares about having a mattress created by a clothing designer? You're putting sheets on them anyway! I'm still trying to figure that one out. I guess Vera never heard the cautionary tale about Pierre Cardin's out of control brand expansion a couple of decades ago, which prompted my dad, unhappy with a shoddily made belt by the designer, to rename the brand "Pierre Cardboard."

Even worse than Vera was Stephen Baldwin, who affectionately refers to himself as Stevie B. Lennox Lewis got it right when he said that Baldwin was a fool to leave the men's team because he couldn't get along with Piers Morgan. Grow up. Morgan may be a pompous jerk, but he's relatively harmless. I don't blame Omarosa and crew for being furious that Baldwin had to miss the first part of the task to go speak at a church. I recall a couple of other Apprentice contestants who missed work to observe a religious holiday, but that's different. Baldwin's speech was probably a paid gig. He really is a phony.

Lennox Lewis, for his part, was the weirdest project manager ever. As Morgan pointed out, he transformed from a fun, low-key teammate to an uptight schoolmarm with dread locks--and zero good ideas. Making people raise their hands to speak? Taking a vote on every single decision? It was totally bizarre. I'm surprised he didn't have a mutiny on his hands. Between Lewis' wacky behavior and the Hydra's cluelessness about all things Vera Wang, I was sure the guys would lose this one. The Cleopatra and Marc Antony concept was really cheesy, and the display window looked like something out of low-budget film. What's more, I'm still not sure why the guys decided to throw all those anachronistic gadgets into the mix. They really took Wang literally when she said she spends a lot of time in bed.

Empresario's "living window" had its own issues. The set decorations were gorgeous, and, of course, Carol Alt looked fabulous, but it was totally bland and cliche. Another problem was that the action wasn't sustainable. Once Baldwin twirled Alt and they landed on the bed, there was nothing else to do. At least Antony and Cleopatra got to talk on the phone, check their e-mail, eat grapes and chat with their man servant. Emprasario's little vignette was more like a 15-second commercial.

At first, I was relieved that they decided not to have Carol change into a negligee. That would have been uncomfortable. But, after seeing the Serta exec's reaction to the Antony and Cleopatra scene, I started to wonder if they made a mistake by taking the classy route. The guy's mouth practically hit the sidewalk. So I wasn't surprised when Donald announced that his vote was the deciding factor in Hydra's victory.

The boardroom scene wasn't too shocking. I liked Omarosa's attempt at seeming like a nice person by asking the Donald if the ladies could all face the music as a team united. Whatever. At least she was sharp enough to take the Donald's advice not to bring back Stevie B. to the final showdown. She definitely learned from Gene Simmons' mistake. Marilu Henner and Nelly Galan were the obvious weak links this week. Henner was totally manic. I was actually surprised by her scatter-brained behavior. I guess she got swept up in the theatrics. Galan, for her part, is a total dud. She must always have smart people working for her, because she's show really poor judgment on anything related to commercials and production in general. Plus, her voice is really annoying. I must give her credit for attacking the Donald for saying she survived this long because she's lucky. Her tenacity was impressive. Overall, though, I'm glad she got the boot.

This episode wasn't as entertaining as some others this season, but perhaps everyone was laying low after last week's sabotage debacle. There were some great moments, though, including Omarosa pouring champagne on poor Morgan's head, followed by Morgan storming out and running back in to gossip about Baldwin, Omarosa's plunging bustier and bolero, and, of course, the return of adorable George.

At this point, I have little faith in any of these "celebs." I don't think the Donald does either. But I guess we'll find out soon enough.