Celebrity Apprentice: Episode Seven

Last night's episode was painful. I'm really tired of watching Morgan fight with his team mates! But that was pretty much the only interesting thing about the show. The task itself was uninspired. Who wants to watch a bunch of celebrities call their friends to beg them to plunk down a ridiculous amount of money for a horse and carriage ride in Central Park? It seemed like one big plug for Trump's ice skating rink. I love watching the celebs for the most part, but I miss the old days when Apprentice wannabes had to rely solely on their business smarts, not their rich friends.

As the Donald pointed out, Omarosa and Morgan got off to a bad start right away. Morgan looked downtrodden during the team swapping scene. I guess he still hadn't recovered from last week's champagne dousing incident. Morgan aptly pointed out that the British had survived two world wars, but had never faced anything like Omarosa. I doubt even he had any idea what she was about to unleash. I have to admit I was starting to like Omarosa. Until last night, she seemed to have matured since her last Apprentice stint and she has had some good ideas, like the giant Croc shoe repository. But her behavior during last night's episode was reprehensible. Morgan got it right when he said that Omarosa realized she would never raise as much cash as the real celebs, so she decided to create a smokescreen by picking a fight with Morgan.

Of course, Morgan is a jerk, but he had a right to complain about the fact that Omarosa misspelled his name. She should know how to spell it by now. Instead of admitting the mistake and apologizing, she balled up the paper, threw it at him and proceeded to trash his parenting skills. That was a new low--and totally out of left field. She can criticize Piers' business skills all she wants, but there was no need to make it so personal by saying that Morgan's kids don't respect him and that he's a terrible father. Where did that even come from? I searched for a story about Morgan and his children, but all I could find was a reference to his divorce. Either Omarosa did some serious research, or maybe Morgan talked about the problems with her before they became bitter enemies. Either way, that was a terrible PR move on her part. Nobody likes people who use little children.

Still, Omarosa's strategy seemed to be working. Morgan fired her in the van even before the task began, which meant that she couldn't really be blamed if her team lost. Plus, Morgan was so thrown off that he became a target for firing as well. I actually felt bad for him. I also felt bad for Carol Alt and Lennox Lewis. Lewis put it best when he said the fight in the van was worse than his fight with Mike Tyson. And the brawling continued right up to the boardroom scene. As the Donald pointed out, Morgan just couldn't regain his composure. He looked really sweaty and tense. Adkins, on the other hand, was completely zen. I loved the uplifting music that played in the background as Adkins talked about his awesome team and what a great time he had.

Needless to say, I was shocked and disappointed to hear that Hydra had won. I guess Alt's friend finally showed up after flying into New Jersey on his private jet. But even a victory couldn't perk up poor Piers. He won a bunch of money for a nice charity, yet he still looked like he was about to burst into tears. It was so sad when Lewis begged everyone to be more cheery during the champagne "celebration" in the war room. It was a hollow victory indeed, Lennox.

But luckily, my faith in humanity was restored during the final boardroom showdown. I was certain one person would break down and go on the offensive against a team mate. Marilu seemed like the most likely target, since she's been heavily criticized in the past. But, amazingly, no one cast aspersions. The Donald had good reason to go against the rules of the show and grant Empresario a pardon. I'm glad nobody got fired or resigned.

I'm also relieved that the Donald separated Morgan and Omarosa. I can't stand another hour of bickering. I'm starting to think that Omarosa has serious mental problems. She thrives on attacking other people. After the vicious argument in the van, Alt seemed shellshocked, but Omarosa described it as "so refreshing" She's got issues.

This episode was more stressful than amusing, but there were some priceless moments, like when Jenna Jameson asked Tito Ortiz what park they were in and that funny face Stephen Baldwin made early on when he told Adkins not to question his knowledge of Manhattan. I also loved the bored look on the face of one of the women who paid top dollar to take "the most romantic carriage ride of her life" with Billy Baldwin. She looked less than thrilled as Baldwin rattled on about his family. Bring back Alec!

I'd love to see Omarosa fired next week, but it looks like Morgan is going to wind up on the chopping block again. I doubt he's long for this world. It's hard to say who will go all the way. Trace Adkins was a great project manager, but he may not be aggressive enough to make it to the end. Henner may make it to the final three purely because people like her, but she's too scattered to last much longer than that. Lewis, for his part, is a terrible project manager. And though I like Tito Ortiz, he's a bit of a meathead. He and Jameson certainly make a perfect couple. Assuming Omarosa and Morgan get picked off in the next two episodes, that leaves Alt and Baldwin. Right now, my money's on the minister.